It's Reunion Time Again!

Ladies, class reunion season is here again!.*

To make preparing for your reunion a bit easier, a handy clip-out checklist is provided.  

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REUNION CHECKLIST

HAIR                                                                            

     ___Cut   (Especially if you still look like your senior picture)                  
     ___Color

     ___Shave

     ___Wax  (Especially if you're beginning to look like your husband's senior picture)

     ___Pluck

     ___Lament (opt)

 SKIN

     ___Exfoliate

     ___Moisturize

     ___Tan

            ___Self

            ___Spray

            ___Actual UV (Um...see below)

     ___Plump

     ___Firm

     ___Lament  (Actual UV see above)

     ___Step back from mirror (Ah, better.)

 NAILS

     ___Manicure

     ___Pedicure

     ___Obsess

     ___Chip and (opt) Swear

TEETH

     ___Brush 

     ___Floss 

     ___Whiten

            ___Toothpaste $

            ___Strips $$

            ___Dentist $$$

BODY 

     ___Diet

     ___Exercise

     ___Diet and Exercise 

     ___Self Acceptance
     ___Lament (opt)

     ___Spanx

CLOTHING

     ___Something Cute

            ___Warm weather

                   ___Cleavage? (Don't bother. He looks like Clint Howard now.)

                   ___No cleavage?

            ___Cool weather (opt: Tan, Pedicure, select Hair items)

     ___Great Shoes
            ___Fabulous
            ___Comfy
            ___Fabulous and comfy (Hahahaha)

ACCESSORIES

     ___A perfect hands-free bag

     ___Jewelry

     ___Phone

     ___Album containing photos of:

            ___Adorable family

            ___Cute pets

            ___Omit: lavish vacation home(s), childbirth, trips, any recent surgeries.

     ___Husband (opt) 

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For many of these items, as with skydiving and the rhythm method, timing is key. Hopefully this checklist provides some semblance of order to what is often a stressful, albeit self-induced, time.

Everybody's coming back to take stock of their lives. 

You know what I say? Leave your livestock alone. 

                                                     -Debi  (Grosse Pointe Blank)

*a Scribbles rerun
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The Language of Love

   Caught in another 'meaningful conversation' with your significant other? At a loss for words, or simply disinterested? The following Clip-Out Guide provides a variety of suitable phrases and responses guaranteed to bring an end to virtually any discussion. The use of these phrases may result in the start of yet another 'meaningful conversation' and for this the author assumes no liability. 
  Caution: Preceding a phrase with a term of endearment is often attempted but results may vary. Discretion is advised. 

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THE FINISH LINE

•     Were you talking to the dog?        
•      Fine. Whatever.
  
•      I’m busy. You do it.
•     Are you wearing that?                                    
•   My mom's is better.                                     
•     I wasn't listening.
•   Wait. I'm almost ready to care.
•     Don’t bother me.
•     Can we never eat this again?
•     Look! Behind you!
•   Aunt Edna had a shirt like that.
•    Can you hear those scratching noises?
•    Please stop talking.
•    Court is adjourned.
•   What's wrong with your hair?
•   Seriously. Don't bother me.
  
•   I’ll do it at half time.
•   Do you smell smoke?

A Note to January

Dearest January,

   Just a little note to tell you how happy I am that you've arrived. After the chaos that we call the holidays you are absolute calendar perfection! Thirty-one blissfully empty little squares to fill with soup making, time by the fireplace, even a little organizing. Sadly, some find you boring. You are not one of those pushy months that shoves events at us nonstop, but a quieter month that requires some effort. Many would argue that this effort is primarily spent on snow removal. Weather issues do tend to overshadow your more subtle charms, but charming you can be. So again, thrilled to have you back!

Affectionately,

  Crayon

    

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