These jackets are so cute! Just what I've been looking for. Let's see... Extra Small, Extra Small, Small, Small, Small, Large, Large, Large, Extra Large, Extra Large. Hmm. No Mediums. There has to be a Medium... shk, shk, shk, dammit, shk, shk...
Hey! This one's cute, too.Probably need a Large. It looks tiny... Extra Small, Extra Small, Medium, Medium, Medium, Extra Large, Extra Large. What?! shk, shk, shk... Oh, for...Where are the skirts?
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Oh, these are perfect! Not too short, not too long. Love this one! shk, shk.. 00, 0, 0, 2, 2, 6, 6, 8, 8, 10, 12. Where are the 4's? WHY AREN'T THERE ANY 4'S?!
Me: Excuse me. Do you have any more of these skirts? I'd like to try one in a 4.
Clerk: Let me check in the back.
There is no back. This is official Clerk Speak for Maybe If I'm Gone Long Enough She'll Go Away.
Look at these cute sandals! Do they have an 8? There's a 7, 7, 7 1/2, 8 1/2, 9, 9. No 8. Obviously my evil twin had some time to kill yesterday.
Clerk: I'm sorry but we don't have any more of those skirts. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: Do you have these sandals in an 8?
Clerk: Aren't they cute?! We just put those out yesterday. Are the 8's gone already? That's a really popular size. They come in Tawny Puce, too. We have plenty of sizes in Tawny Puce.
Me: I bet you do. But no, thank you.
Clerk: Did you see these cute summer cardigans? Really interesting colors and we have lots!
Me: I do like the blue one. I'd probably need a Medium.
Clerk: Let me get one out of the stack for you. Oh. We must be out of Mediums in Mediterranean Sky . But here's a Medium in Tawny Puce! Oooh, and Rusty Goldenrod! And don't you just love this Burnt Mandarin?
Me: Ah. "Dead Vegetation" cardigans.
Clerk: No, I don't think that's who designed them. But aren't the colors AWESOME?! Are you sure you wouldn't be a Large?
image/gettyimages
Hubby (aka The Amazing Foldo): Is this a rag?
Me: No, I still use that towel. It's one of my favorites!
Hubby: It should be a rag.
Me: But I like them when they get all broken in.
Hubby: Where does this blue towel go?
Me: We got those blue towels as a wedding gift 20 years ago and you still don't know where they go?
Hubby: We got these blue towels as a wedding gift 20 years ago and you think the problem is that I still don't know where they go?
Me: What are you insinuating?
Hubby: What about these flowered ones? Rags.
Me: No! Those were Aunt Noni's.
Hubby: You realize how old that makes these towels, don't you? No one knew who Elvis was when these were new.
Me: You didn't put the dogwood pattern towels in the rags, did you? Mother and Dad got those when they were first married! I love those.
Hubby: You mean these sheer rectangles? These were towels? Why don't you use the new towels I bought? They're great!
Me: They're so fuzzy.
Hubby: Towels are supposed to be fuzzy! Clearly a concept you are unacquainted with.
Me: Just let me fold the towels. You fold all those rags in that other basket.
Hubby: Rags?! Those are my gym clothes!
image/readyaimlife
This is the default font for Gmail. It is incredibly small and unacceptable. So maybe this one? At least it's easier to see and it's the only one that doesn't get bold when it gets larger. The other fonts take it upon themselves to look like this. Like they're yelling! Hm, I could use this one but it's bold-when-no-one-actually-told-it-to-be-bold, too. I like Tahoma. But see how small it gets on Normal? This is not normal. This is elfin. Then it goes to this. As if all my contacts need the large print edition. This font is nice, but this is the Large setting and it's so small! Must be the Starbucks font. And this is the next size up. You can read it from space! Or this font, the Montana, where everything is very far apart. Seriously, who would use this assertive Hulk font? And this one? Oh, sure. Hahahaha! Gmail fonts are terrible.
