Clerk: Hi! Welcome to ShopRags! Are you looking for anything special today?
Me: Oh, hi Mincy.
Clerk: My name's Mincy! Let me know if I can help you with anything!
Me: I know who... Right. Actually I just came in...
Clerk: Did you see the fabulous Indian blanket sweater coat with the fur sleeves and trim?!
Me: Mincy, I'm still in the doorway.
Clerk: Come on! Let me show you!
Me: It's 87 degrees outside. Who would even think of buying something like that yet?
Clerk: Ohhhh looook. There's only one left. Can you wear an XL?
Me: They're gone already? That is incredible.
Clerk: Seriously, I think you could wear the XL. We'll just add this amazing snakeskin belt...
Me: No, Mincy, I just meant that it's still so hot outside...
Clerk: Don't be sad! I'll call another store! We have free shipping to your house if the item weighs less than 40 lbs. Oh. Maybe I should weigh it.
Me: Please don't bother. I only came in to...
Clerk: It's no bother! Or maybe you'd like this other sweater coat with triple leather and faux ocelot. Ohhhh loook. There's only one left. Can you wear an XS?
Me: They're gone, too? I can't believe it.
Clerk: Now you're sad.
Me: Really, it's fine. I didn't come in to buy a Sasquatch sweater coat. I just needed some grey tights.
Clerk: Yay! We have LOTS of those! Let's just get them and I'll ring you up.
Me: Thanks Mincy.
Clerk: That will be $15.27. Was anyone helping you today?
image/furinsider
You are a scream, you really are, this and your supermodel neighbour made me laugh so much. I can sympathise with both, some people are just put on the planet to haunt me, shop assistants who insist on a full conversation even though they can see you are in a hurry, and as for glam neighbours, seriously undermining, they should be shot.
ReplyDeleteWasn't she a good listener? I hope you said no one helped!
ReplyDeleteSusan T- Hahaha! The list of tormentors can seem endless, can't it? I love writing Mincy. I think she's hilarious!
ReplyDeletehausfrau- And she probably wouldn't have heard that either!
As usual you have come up with the perfect picture.
ReplyDeleteSmith-Binney- Those old photos are just fabulous!
ReplyDeleteMincy needs a good slap.
ReplyDeleteFran- But I still love her! Just the other day I actually met an almost-real Mincy working at Starbucks. It was all I could do not to laugh!
ReplyDelete