Being That Parent: A Guide
Provides parent-proven tips guaranteed to turn any parent, however well meaning,
into That Parent. Simply choose a suggestion from the list
and be amazed how quickly you, too, can become That Parent.
Tip #1 Everyone Loves the Spotlight
1. Notice your child's ___.
(You may choose from the following or select something from your own child)
-endearing and/or quirky habit
-cute freckles, blemishes, adorably tiny earlobes, honky Uncle Lester laugh
-lack of (muscles, boobs, facial hair, math skills)
-overabundance of (hair product, enthusiasm for Greek tragedy, glitter eyeshadow,
passion for Justin Bieber)
passion for Justin Bieber)
2. Be sure to comment on it.
3. To them.
4. At the game/parent-teacher conference/recital/Justin Bieber concert meet and greet.
5. In front of their friends. And Justin Bieber.
Tip #2 "It's Not My Party and I'll Ground You If I Want To"
Punish your child for their latest infraction by forbidding them to attend the birthday party tomorrow that you RSVP'd to three weeks ago. You will become not only That Parent to your child, but to the parents of the birthday child as well.
Tip #3 "No Food for You!" -The Food Nazi
Only have healthy foods in your home. No exceptions. If it has to be washed, chopped, cooked or killed prior to eating all the better. This will assure A) your children and their friends will go to someone else's house and B) they won't be eating the fancy, organic groceries you just spent a fortune on at Whole Foods.
Please join us next month for another chapter of Being That Parent: A Guide
when we discuss "My Car, My Music": That Parent Behind the Wheel.
Being That Parent welcomes contributions from readers for future chapters of the Guide!
