Monday, April 30

What Teachers Wish They Could Say (The Series) Part 3

Maybe your dog should have eaten your homework. 

No, I won't tweet you what you missed. 

Did you check the class website? Yes, there's a class website.  Since the first week.  I know it's 
the last week.  No, it wasn't a "secret website".  Yes, it's too late to drop. 

Late:  /lāt/  (adjective): Coming after the time when due. Doing something or taking place after the 
          expected, proper, or usual time. 

That burning smell is probably your spell checker.

Did you bring your hard copy? Oh, you emailed it... 

This is why there are helmet laws. 

And to the other 99% of my students--Thank you!


Thursday, April 12

If You're Happy and You Know It*

Hubby: Come take this "Happiness Quiz" in the Southwest Airlines magazine. I filled mine out on the plane and I want to see how you score.

Me: You are so competitive.

Hubby: Me?! You even compare our blood work after our physicals.

Me: That is not the least bit odd.

Hubby: Okay, I'll read you the questions and you answer them using the scale 1: not at all like me to 5: extremely like me. Ready?

Me: Oh, fine. But I'm a happy person and we both know it.

Hubby: Just answer the questions! Okay--"I have more good days than bad days."

Me: Five.

Hubby: "I matter to other people."

Me: Five

Hubby: "I enjoy things every day."

Me: Five

Hubby: You can't just answer "Five" for every question! That's not happy, that's delusional. 

Me: Why? What did you answer for that one?

Hubby: "Two."

Me: "Two" ? You have got to be kidding. And you wonder why I say you're a "glass is half empty" person. 

Hubby: But I said "Four" to "I take time for leisure activities".

Me: I would hope so since your day to day existence appears to be less than satisfactory.

Hubby: YOU don't take time for leisure activities.

Me: Who has the time? I'm too busy making myself happy and obviously spending futile hours trying to make you happy as well. Was Eeyore a role model for you as a child?

Hubby: Very funny. Just finish answering the questions.

Me: Two. Four. Five. Five. Five. 

Hubby: Okay, let me add up your score. See? I knew it! You score in the "I Want Whatever She's Having" category.

Me: You know I live in my own Happy Land and it's very enjoyable there.

Hubby: I want to live in Happy Land, too. I can be more like Tigger.

Me: I know you can, honey. You just need to choke your inner Eeyore to death first. Then picture two Tiggers running joyously through Happy Land together. See? Isn't it fun there?

Hubby: Um... On second thought, maybe someone needs to stay home, and by "home" I mean "In touch with reality".

Me: Fine. No Eeyores allowed in Happy Land anyway. Didn't you see the sign?

*a Scribbles Hubby favorite
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