Hubby: I'm going to Home Depot to get a replacement for the drain cover in our shower.
Me: Wha..? Might I ask why the shower drain cover would be a priority for today?
Hubby: Because it's all cruddy and gross.
Me: Ohh, I forgot. Today is Reverse Priority Day! Isn't that where we start at the bottom of our to-do list and work our way up to the things that actually matter?
Hubby: What do you mean?
Me: I mean there are about 749 other things that need to be taken care of before I would even THINK of replacing that shower drain cover.
Hubby: What would you rather I do today, then?
Me: I thought you might want to get rid of the dead raccoon in the middle of the kitchen floor, for starters.
Hubby: I hadn't noticed that.
Me: Clearly. I decided to just leave it there and wait to see how long it took for you to stop stepping over it and pick it up. Yet you notice the shower drain cover.
Hubby: Yep. Well, I'm heading out. Anything else you want me to pick up?
Me: Just the raccoon.
*A Scribbles Hubby Favorite!
image/theanimalprintshop
Register Guy: ..scan..scan.. Hey Mrs.Crayon. ..scan..scan..
This does not impress me. Calling me by my name does not make me feel like an Extra Super Special Customer. He only knows me because he has scanned my Extra Super Special Customer card and, frankly, I find this a little creepy.
Register Guy: ..scan..scan.. Did you find everything you were, like, looking for today? ..scan..scan..
Me: Actually, no. I was looking for creamed squirrel and you're either out of it or you don't carry it. I couldn't find any.
Register Guy: ..scan..scan.. Oh, I'm sorry. ..scan..scan..
Me: That's it?
Register Guy: ..scan..scan.. Paper or plastic? ..scan..scan..
Me: Aren't you going to ask anyone? The specialty small animal manager? Ask someone to check in the back? Maybe you just haven't put it out yet. I know it's early for some of the seasonal items.
Register Guy: ..scan..scan.. I don't think we carry crushed squirrel. I've never seen it. ..scan..scan..
Me: It's not... Maybe you just didn't notice. The can is pretty small.
Register Guy: ..scan..scan.. I could ask Todd. ..scan..scan.. But he's at lunch.
Me: Probably eating the last of my creamed squirrel...
Register Guy: Did you look with the little canned stuff like Underwood Deviled Ham? ..scan..scan.. Dude, that stuff is gross. ..scan..scan..
Me: So if you're not going to do anything about it why do you always ask?
Register Guy: ..scan..scan.. Because Todd makes us. ..scan..scan.. So you'll feel like an Extra Super Special Customer. ..scan..scan...
Me: Right now I just feel like an Annoyed Extra Super Special Customer. Without her creamed squirrel.
Register Guy: ..ching.. Do you have any coupons?
Me: Just for creamed squirrel.
Register Guy: ..ching.. That'll be $147.63. Hey, you saved $0.12 with your Extra Super Special Shopper card! And sorry about your chipmunk mousse, or whatever, Mrs. Carbon.
*a Scribbles rerun
image/thedailygreen
