Monday, November 13

Happy Thanksgiving to All Kinds*


Ahh, Thanksgiving. The time when Hubby gets to spend a week among his own kind. And our kinds could not be more different.
Hubby:  Mom, where are the scissors?

Mom: Scissors? Oh, I don't know, Dear. Just use something else.

Hubby: You can't just sub-in any old utensil for scissors, Mom. Their functionality is pretty specific.

Mom: Just get something out of the knife drawer.

Hubby: Mom! Someone could lose a limb in there. I'll go buy you some new scissors. Where are your keys?

Mom: Keys? Oh, I don't know, Dear. 


I, on the other hand, grew up in a home with the motto A Place For Everything and It Damn Well Better Be There.

Me: Mother, where are the scissors?

Mother: Do you need the kitchen ones, the office ones, the sewing ones, the everyday ones, or the ones in the garage? Or do you need the pinking shears or the shredding scissors?

Me: I just need to cut off this thread.

Mother: Then get the sewing scissors. They're in my sewing box in the closet in the office. Just open the top and they're in the second compartment on the left, next to that cute pincushion you made for me in Brownies.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, whatever your kind! 


*a Scribbles holiday repeat!

 image/midcenturymom

Tuesday, April 18

Opposite Me*

Opposite Me... is tan.

Opposite Me... drives an open-top Jeep. It is outdoorsy green. And always open. In order to carry her bike. Or her board. 

Opposite Me... looks good wet. Out of the shower. Or at the pool. Or at the beach. Especially at the beach.

Opposite Me... is luminous in direct sunlight. (See: Tan and Beach)

Opposite Me... wears sunglasses only to look cute. And to hold back her maintenance-free wind hair. Not because the bright light makes her squint like a mole. 

Opposite Me... is spontaneous. Her license plate says LETSGO. It is on her outdoorsy green open-top Jeep.

Opposite Me... can pack for an entire weekend in a ZipLoc bag. And will be prepared for dancing, hiking, swimming, the Farmers Market, and cocktails. 

Opposite Me... has a tattoo. (see: Spontaneous)

Opposite Me...  laughs in the face of gravity. Without the aid of underwires or duct tape.

Opposite Me... loves to watch the sunrise. Without coffee. Or makeup.

Opposite Me... looks cute in hats. Any hats. But doesn't need them because she has wind hair. (see: Open-top Jeep and Sunglasses)

Opposite Me... entertains. On the spur of the moment. And enjoys it. 

Opposite Me... is lucky she isn't real. I'd have to choke her. 

*A Maximus favorite!

image/expeditionportal/sleeoffroad

Saturday, January 21

Adventures in Doggysitting


Me:  I'm heading to the grocery. I'll be back in a little while.

Hubby:  I think I'm just going to work in the yard. I'll let the dogs stay out with me.

Me:  Just be sure to keep an eye on them or put their fencing collars on so they stay in the yard. 

Hubby:  Um hmm...


(Later)

Hubby: You're back! I'll help you bring in the groceries.

Me:  Why are the dogs in the garage? 

Hubby: They were outside with me.

Me:  But they're all wet.

Hubby: Oh. Right. They... went on a little adventure. 

Me:  They were supposed to be in the yard with you.

Hubby: They were! And then they weren't. 

Me:  You're the parent whose toddler ends up on the neighbor's front porch naked with a Tootsie Pop stuck to its face, aren't you? 

Hubby:  The dogs aren't sticky. 

Me:  And that is your defense...

Hubby:  Oooh, look! You got cupcakes!



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