Saturday, December 3

I Married a Christmas Elf (Episode 1)*

Hubby: So you'll be able to write a Christmas letter this year?

 (Oh NO! The annual Christmas letter argument. Quick! Use Hubby's "Feign Deafness" ploy.)

Me: Um...   What?

Hubby:  I said I thought since you have time to blog that you'd have time to write a Christmas letter this year.

Me: Um...  What? 

Hubby: Stop feigning deafness. You always say you're too busy but since you're writing anyway...  And you know people really liked the last one.

Me: That was 1993. 

Hubby: See how much you'll have to write about?

Me: It's a Christmas letter, not a miniseries. The kids don't do cute things to write about anymore. Now they call in the middle of the night because their dog got sick on the carpet and they want to know how to clean it up.

Hubby: Funny. 

Me: How about a Christmas 'insert'?

Hubby: I am not sending a little scrap of paper with Hi! The kids are in college, we're loving the peace and quiet, we eat on TV trays, drink lots of nice wine and pay entirely too much attention to the dog. Merry Christmas!

Me: The scraps can have a festive holiday print!

Hubby: You just don't want to write one. I send all the cards. The least you could do is write something to put in them. 

Me: Um...  What?

*a favorite holiday Scribble


  1. Many of those Christmas letters are just so darn irritating. People fill them with too-cute stories about their pets and grand kids, or they boast about their new vacation homes and latest achievements. Mine is nearly done and almost ready to slip into the mail.

  2. Dear Crayon,
    the tradition of a Christmas letter is not very popular in Germany. I think you mean those letters with a retrospect of the year? We get two each year - one makes us hoot with laughter - it is, as Stephen above said - a big big bravado, unintentionally hilarious - the other is very nice and partly interesting, but I do not know many of the people that are talked about :-) Nevertheless the Christmas letter might be a good thing for the own family - come to think of it: I might write just that...

  3. I used to write Christmas letters until there was a spoof of one in our newspaper. The sort of self congratulatory list of accomplishments that can blight a good read. I have never written them since.

  4. Not The Christmas Letter! We receive two every year. The first,two pages long including pencil drawings of animals and people we know nothing of and jokes we don't understand. The second has been known to reach a staggering 12 pages. I confess I've no idea what it's about. I do check the signatures to make sure everyone is still with us.

  5. I do understand why you all hate them, and I confess I write my 'round robin' with trepidation; the thing is, if a card arrives that just says "love from the usual suspects", and we haven't met them all year: we'd love to know what they're up to... We only get one we don't read at all - 12 pages in far too much detail - but the tiny snippets help keep us in some sort of contact, and I at least look forward to the news.

  6. Writing Christmas letters isn't a Dutch tradition. Thank Father Christmas! (I don't believe in God. Of course I do believe in Father Christmas.) If people want to know what's going on in the lives of me, hubs and the furry bunch, they can read my blog and be kept up-to-date. Mind you, most of my family don't know I have a blog and it's better that way ;-)

  7. I loath those things - don't waste a minute of your time on them. Anybody who sends us one, goes straight to the top of our 'Used to be friends, but from now on, might only be arm's length acquaintances' list. The only exception, was from a lady I'd met at antenatal classes, about ten years before, who used such a letter to inform us in full gory detail, that her useless Vicar husband had gone off with a slime-ball parishioner - it was obviously a very cathartic experience for her and therefore she was forgiven.

  8. Stephen Hayes- BAhahahaha!!

    Britta- And how is your Christmas letter coming along? As you can see, I'm blogging instead.

    Susan T- They are so easy to mock, but that's a shame if it keeps those who can actually write a good one from doing so. I would think yours would be a fun read!

    pinkshoesknits- Twelve pages?! That's not a Christmas letter, that's a thesis. 'Checking the signatures'-funny!

    hausfrau- I agree with you. They are wonderful for catching up with everyone. We receive one from dear friends in Colorado that we look forward to reading, and a delightful one from my aunt and uncle. I'm sure your 'round robin' (I love that!) is well received since you are such a fun writer! Again the 12 pages letter?!

    Carolina- The Dutch probably have the right idea. And family seem to be the least likely to read our blogs, but you're right-it's probably better that way!

    mostlymotley- What an absolutely wild letter! That tops the worst one we ever received-four pages (small font, narrow margins!) containing minute details of a recent oral surgery. Gah!

  9. Stick to your guns, I'm Crayon. A few handwritten words are enough. Straight As and prizes and trophies are only interesting to a very few people, and they already know about them, because they're your family and friends.

    Happy Christmas, anyway!

  10. Frances Garrood- Fending off attacks of Hubby the Christmas Elf can get to be a challenge so thanks for the encouragement. Happy Holidays to you, too!

    The Coffee Lady- You are so funny. Considering all that's going on in your home right now you're off the hook for everything! Hope all is continuing to go well.

  11. A simple, thoughtful handwritten card is so perfect in my mind. These days that says more to me than something long and printed.

    p.s. I do have to say it made me laugh reading what your husband suggested to say about the happenings of this past year. Good stuff!

  12. alexandria- And that could easily be handwritten....


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