Tuesday, April 26

Mr. Twister

Me: What do you do with my seat belt?

Hubby: What?

Me: My seat belt. It's completely twisted around and the fuzzy shoulder thing is backward. It's next to impossible to intentionally adjust that fuzzy shoulder thing, so how do you do it?

Hubby: I don't know what you're talking about.

Me: I'm talking about the fact that you drove my car a total of 3 1/2 miles and managed to twist the seat belt into a mess.

Hubby: Just untwist it.

Me: I don't WANT to have to untwist it. I want to know what gyrations you go through to get it that way.

Hubby: I just put it on. 

Me: No, that would be what normal drivers do. Normal drivers simply grab, pull and click. You apparently do some type of Swahili Safety Dance before driving away. 

Hubby: If there was such a thing, you would be the one to do it. You even strap in the dog. Astronauts are less secured. 

Me: And imagine if you hooked her in. We'd never get her untangled. Trapped in her own little doggie sarcophagus. 

Hubby: You don't mean sarcophagus. More like a cocoon. Or The Wreck of the Hesperus.

Me: Funny.

Hubby:  Hey, let's get the Buzz Aldrin harness and she can ride with me to Home Depot. I'll take your car. 



  1. Hi nice to meet you, Jody here, Kiwi living in Oakland. Wow, you guys have witty esoteric conversations, I'm jealous. My husband and I are reduced to grunts and hurrumphs whilst in the car (we've been through all the configurations of "do you have to drive like that?" but I sure one day we'll move to more Proustian exchanges...

  2. I'm glad we're not the only ones who speak to each other like this.

  3. About Last Weekend- Hi Jody! Oh, don't be fooled. I just edit out all of our grunts and hurrumphs. And the driving? We'll eventually resort to taking separate cars everywhere-unless they invent a Spouse Rack.

    Fran- Word nuts of a feather...

  4. Hey - a spouse rack sounds just the job!!! Isn't it amazing what weird and wonderful conversations/exchanges go on between men and women who are clearly both reading from different life books.

  5. No kidding! CLEARLY different life books!

  6. Look, you have too many cars. You are clearly too affluent. Stop your whining right now.

  7. Dearest Crayon,
    So sorry to pulverize your daughter's car with a hail storm, but now that she has your car at school and you have none, maybe you will stop being so uppity.
    Much love,

  8. Too funny!! I have five sets of tangled iPod headphones I could send to untangle as a lesson. I suggest a surveillance video.

  9. Two excellent suggestions, although Hubby would just end up disconnecting the video to plug in the shop vac. And I should probably show you a photo of the mess behind the entertainment center and the computer desk before you send those headphones!


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