Tuesday, November 1

Held for Questioning


Entering Aging Maroon:

Me: Just need some t-shirts for Minimus and I'll take a quick look at the sweaters.

Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh. Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh.

Me: Yikes, that music. 

Browsing....browsing.....

Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh. Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh.

Me: That isn't music.

Browsing....browsing.....

Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh. Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh.

Me: Will that song never end?!

Browsing....browsing.....

Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh. Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh.

Me: Eeeee NAH nah NAH....  Ack! It's like musical water torture! I'll buy these t-shirts and just go.

Cashier (to customer ahead in line):  Welcome to Aging Maroon! Did you find everything you were looking for today?  

Customer: Yes I did. 

Cashier: Did you scratch off your "FlyMeToThe'Roon" card? You could save up to 5%. 

Customer: Of course!

Cashier: Would you like to save 10% and open an Aging Maroon card today?

Customer: No, thank you.

Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh. Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh.

Cashier: Will you be using your Aging Maroon Love the 'Roon Special Shopper Card today?

Customer: Yes, but I don't have it with me.

Me: (Oh, good grief.)  

Cashier: No problem! I'll just look you up! .....   Name on the account? ....   There you are! ... Can I have your email address so you can receive multiple notifications a day about our special offers? Oh, I see you're using one of our e-roonpons! Let me just scan that...  Okay, your total is $87.43.

Me: (Finally.)  

Cashier: Would you like to become a member of our Socka'Roony Frequent Buyer Club? Buy 27 and 1/2 pairs of socks and get the 28th sock free! You get a punch card.

Me: (Don't think about punching. Don't think about punching.)

Cashier: I'm sorry, but your credit card won't scan. May I please see your driver's license?

Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh. Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh.

Me: (For the love of....!!) 

Cashier: I'm going to have to take an imprint of your card since it won't scan. Hm, where is that imprinter thingy.....?  Shari, do you have the imprinter thingy?.... Here we go! ... There. Now what is your home phone number and address? .... Do you have a cell number?.... And let me put your driver's license number here at the bottom.... 

Me: GAH! Are you kidding me?!!  She's buying some clothes, not adopting a child!

Silence.

Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh. Eeeee NAH nah NAH nah uh. uh. uh.




8 comments:

  1. Dear Crayon,
    YES - that is the way they put their customers into a hypnotic sleep - buy - buy (sorry if you didn't get the message and seem to have understood "Bye bye"). Like Sleeping Beauty we spend endless time in a waiting-time-warp, listening to "Rammalammadingdong" (THAT song for intellectuals only I heard on my radio today) Britta, singing doo-wa-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-doo :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Socks! Thanks. I'd forgotten I needed to buy some.

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  3. Britta- It IS hypnotism. "Bye bye!" made me laugh out loud!

    Carolina- Of course, it's funny NOW...

    The Coffee Lady- I hope you're a Sock Club member!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nah nah nah nah he he he nah nah nah...

    ReplyDelete
  5. You make me laugh like a drain every time. You really do. It's a gift.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Get older soon, and then you can get like me?

    "No savings cards. Just ring it up. Thank you. Bye."

    I get worse every year.

    Nice to see you and your beautiful blog!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. hausfrau- Hahahaha!

    Fran- Kind of like those gifts a cat brings to the back doorstep, isn't it?

    The Empress- I'm already right there with you! And it seems the less patience I have with it the more questions they ask! And don't get me started on the piles of paper they hand back with your receipt...

    ReplyDelete

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