Wednesday, March 16

Lip Lockout

Cosmetics Clerk: Hi! May I help you?

Me: Yes, please. I wanted to pick up your new lipstick. The one featured in the latest issue of You Will Never Look Like This But It Can't Hurt To Try.

Cosmetics Clerk: Ooh, the yummy pink one?

Me: Yes! That one!

Cosmetics Clerk: We're all out. Sorry.

Me: How could you be out already? I just received my issue this week. 

Cosmetics Clerk: Those special seasonal colors go really fast. 

Me: I understand that, but the color is called Summer Fun. 

Cosmetic Clerk: A perfect name, don't you think? Perfect shade, perfect name.

Me: A perfect name for a lipstick that should be available for the SUMMER! It's barely the Ides of March and already I can't get it.

Cosmetics Clerk: The Ides of March? I don't think we have that either.

Me: No, the Ides of..  never mind.  Do you have a color similar to Summer Fun?

Cosmetics Clerk: Probably not. It was super pretty.

Me: Fine. I'll just get a tube of your LashMeToTheBedpost mascara. 

Cosmetics Clerk: We discontinued that. Sorry. 

Me: You are kidding me. Then I'll take one of those SeeSpotRun touch up sticks. I love those.

Cosmetics Clerk: Great! Oh, no...  I only have the touch up stick in Coal Miner #23 and Casper #1. You could probably get away with the Casper...

Me: Do you ever actually have any products to sell at this counter?
Cosmetics Clerk: That super pretty special seasonal lipstick called Summer Fun sold like crazy!


  1. Gah. They discontinued my smoky green eyeliner. Now I can buy terrifyingly bright emerald eyeliner, or terrifyingly bright lime eyeliner. Neither of these are a substitute, despite what they try to show me on the backs of their damn hands.

  2. Gah is right! The scary aqua-esque eyeliner they now have is not navy either! And if they ever discontinue my favorite lip pencil I think I will have to hurt someone.

  3. Brilliant fun. I hope you're writing a book of some kind.

  4. Oh, Fran, have you been drinking? But high praise considering all the delightful madness going on over at your place!

  5. Truth is the best comedy, isn't it?

  6. At least we never run out of blog material! Well, that and being married to my husband.

  7. So...this has EXACTLY described my which MissM and I alternate choosing items from very expensive cosmetics counter in prestigious shop and discover that Every Single One is out of stock. To add insult to injury the lady says "are you sure you don't want anything else? It is all 10% off!"

  8. Honestly, we could NOT make this stuff up! The relentless promotion to get us in the store-and then they're out of everything! Maddening. You clearly have my sympathies.


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