Cosmetics Clerk: Hi! May I help you?
Me: Yes, please. I wanted to pick up your new lipstick. The one featured in the latest issue of You Will Never Look Like This But It Can't Hurt To Try.
Cosmetics Clerk: Ooh, the yummy pink one?
Me: Yes! That one!
Cosmetics Clerk: We're all out. Sorry.
Me: How could you be out already? I just received my issue this week.
Cosmetics Clerk: Those special seasonal colors go really fast.
Me: I understand that, but the color is called Summer Fun.
Cosmetic Clerk: A perfect name, don't you think? Perfect shade, perfect name.
Me: A perfect name for a lipstick that should be available for the SUMMER! It's barely the Ides of March and already I can't get it.
Cosmetics Clerk: The Ides of March? I don't think we have that either.
Me: No, the Ides of.. never mind. Do you have a color similar to Summer Fun?
Cosmetics Clerk: Probably not. It was super pretty.
Me: Fine. I'll just get a tube of your LashMeToTheBedpost mascara.
Cosmetics Clerk: We discontinued that. Sorry.
Me: You are kidding me. Then I'll take one of those SeeSpotRun touch up sticks. I love those.
Cosmetics Clerk: Great! Oh, no... I only have the touch up stick in Coal Miner #23 and Casper #1. You could probably get away with the Casper...
Me: Do you ever actually have any products to sell at this counter?
Cosmetics Clerk: That super pretty special seasonal lipstick called Summer Fun sold like crazy!